My wife Paula has been on disability since Kye died. This week, she started back to work part time. Hopefully, she can get back to full time and then we hope to try to try to get pregnant again…
It is great to see Paula improving, and since we work in the same office, it is really nice for me to have her around again. I really missed having her around. I know that it has been really stressful for Paula, and it doesn’t help that she got a really bad cold just as she started back.
I also know that she really feels guilty about going back to work and the idea of getting pregnant again. In a way it is like leaving Kye behind. On the other hand, I strongly believe that any of our kids would want us to go on and have the best life possible. I also think that we can carry on with our life and still remember him. It is just that there is a difference between “carrying on while honoring our son” and “giving up on life”. I think that it is very important to just give up, and I think that is what many parents do initially. I know a lot of the time after Kye’s death is still a blur to me.
The really tough part is that eventually you have to drag yourself out (or have friends and family help drag you out). This is a really tough path, but it is very important for the rest of our life.
So, good luck and welcome back Paula
Continue reading Welcome back to work Paula
I stumbled across a wonderful organization the other day. It’s called Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep and is made up of volunteer photographers to help memorialize babies that have passed away. There are volunteers throughout the United States and in 25 countries internationally. Unfortunately, Canada is not one of the participating countries. These volunteers come to the hospital or hospice for a private photography session to take beautiful pictures of a tiny life that has ended too soon. These families are going through the lowest point in their lives, a trauma too great to explain for those who have not experienced it.
When we lost our son Kye in the second trimester of my pregnancy last year, the world stopped spinning. It has been nearly a year since our loss and I have just recently returned to work. We never had pictures took of him or even saw him after he was taken from us. I was between 18-20 weeks pregnant and didn’t want a half formed image of him in my mind. I will always wonder though. In my imagination, he’s a beautiful, perfectly formed little angel who looks like my son and daughter combined. It’s how I’ll always remember him.
For families who have gone further in their pregnancies though or families who feel differently than I did at the time, photographs are a beautiful way to remember all that has been lost. To remember all that could have been. The touching photographs on this web page are definitely worth taking a look at. This is certainly an organization that is very deserving of everyone’s time, money and support. Please spread the word about them so that their organization can continue to spread and function.
Continue reading Memorial Photography Volunteers
